After being in the AA for a while, I found that, although a lot of things had significantly improved, I was still overly sensitive. Every time someone teased me, was rude or disrespectful, I got my feelings hurt – badly. I can’t say that being sensitive is something I’ve overcome. I do use the tools of the program on it though. The following is a list of things I practice to help me get through the day.
- Living One Day at a Time
- Meditation and Prayer
- Talking About It
- Live and Let Live
- Going to Meetings
I don’t have to deal with every inconsiderate person that will ever meet in my lifetime, only the ones that hurt my feelings today. If I don’t run into any nerve hurters, then it isn’t even a problem for that day.
When I connect to something larger than myself I can see that my pain isn’t everything. It puts things into perspective.
No matter how bad it is, I can always appreciate the fact that it isn’t worse. My situation could always be significantly more difficult. I could be sitting in prison taking garbage from the worst our society has to offer.
This is always gold, being able to express my frustration about something and have someone understand. A sponsor or close-mouthed friend are perfect for this.
Okay, someone was a jerk to me and hurt my feelings. Oh well. As Scott Peck said, “Life is difficult.” They are proving to me that Peck was right. It helps me to see that existence isn’t just hard for me, but for everyone. I am not unique. Does it serve me to think over and over about how unfair life is?
Dr. Paul invited us to ask, “How important is it really?” Am I making more out of something than it really is? Will the situation matter in a year? Will it still be significant a week from now?
Relief from negative feelings can always be found in AA. Seeing my friends, putting my life on the shelf for a little while, and sharing each other’s struggles and triumphs always helps me.
The problem can be though, that someone at a meeting will hurt my feelings. Some people in the program are not very healthy and are still stepping on other people’s toes. For this I need to practice some of the previously mentioned solutions. What’s important is that I don’t give up on Alcoholics Anonymous. There are a few ugly trees, but the forest is still beautiful.